The Best of New Writing on the Web

January 1, 2008

Post-Christmas Anachronist Dioramas

Filed under: Writing — litlove @ 12:05 pm

From The American Fez

Some over-baptized, Lord-praising maniac decided it would be a devoutly good idea to buy my nephew a Playmobil Nativity Scene for Christmas. Now, although it may very well be called a Playmobil, I defy any child to actually ‘play’ with this artifact. Let’s face it, besides the three wise men and the smelly shepherds arriving at the virgin birth zone, the characters don’t really do anything. They simply stand around and worship the holy infant all through the drearily silent night. In other words, the Playmobil Nativity Scene is an extremely tedious toy whose only redeeming feature is a vaguely amusing plastic camel.

Fortunately, and predictably, it wasn’t long before my nephew’s other gifts began to invade the sanctity of the manger. At noon, a casual examination of the already forgotten Nativity Scene revealed a rubberized Tyrannosaurus Rex standing over the upturned crib, and a scurvy dog from the Playmobil Pirate Ship apparently about to engage the Playmobil Mary in, well, whatever pirates get up to when they encounter an unprotected female. Where were Joseph, assorted shepherds and the Three Kings of Orient? They were busy manning the walls of the Lego medieval castle while it was fired upon by the Playmobil Pirate Ship, before that keeled over after being side swiped by a flashing Transformer.

“Oh grow up,” my sister said to me.



  1. I have been reading this blogger, originally STEPHENESQUE, for a couple of years now, and I have to say he is consistently brilliant, and timely in his reflections–not to mention the wordplay and punning which is not just clever, but surreal. He posts something five days a week; so anybody that doesn’t have AMERICAN FEZ on their links list is missing a daily tonic, bound to uplift.

    Comment by Lloyd Mintern — January 3, 2008 @ 6:36 am | Reply

  2. Lloyd you may be right on this one because if what’s above is the kind of material he’s outputting five days a week then I have definitely been missing out. But, not for long. I just might be a new fan.

    Comment by J.S. Peyton — January 7, 2008 @ 4:44 pm | Reply

  3. […] relate this traumatizing experience because by way of LitLove’s new eZine Best New Writing on the Web (check it out, Issue 1 is wonderful), which I discovered by way of Stefanie’s So Many Books, […]

    Pingback by I’m Not Dead Yet, But I Feel Like I Am « BiblioAddict — January 7, 2008 @ 5:31 pm | Reply

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